I looked back at 2012’s New Year’s Eve post today as I sat down. The first sentence said “I have the most deliriously, deep-to-the-bone happy feeling about 2013.”
Was I ever right to feel that way?
2013 was a year of conquering. For the very first time I think I really waded into some selfishness. I wanted to really evaluate what I wanted in life. What was I going to do to get there? For the last three or so years I had been floating along with good enough; and turned out––that wasn’t good enough anymore. In that case, I think selfishness is the way to go.
The list of 25 by 25 was a huge impetus to get my butt in motion. To stop talking so much and do a lot more. I never imagined how putting a list together and reflecting on action could make so much happen.
I mean, just the cliff notes?
– Really kicking butt at my old job. I was given some great new accounts and was really proud of the work Woodbine was doing.
– Sibling beach camping trip.
– Making some amazing new best friends. Ones that came in the last half and ones in the first (looking at you, Tara).
– Little brother graduated and moved to college.
– Welcoming Evan into the world. That was a best.
– New, great roommates.
– A Savannah AOII reunion.
– So many sporting events. Countless Dash. W-S Open Tennis. A Braves weekend. Red Sox. Patriots. Panthers. Whew.
– Going to probably 10 concerts.
– Being at the Macy’s Parade for Thanksgiving.
– Staying close with best friends. Even when they’re freaking far away.
PS, if you’re my friend and don’t have a nickname we apparently need to work on that.
– Finding a new church.
– Oh, and a new boyfriend. That’s a pretty big deal. Love this guy.
I pretty much (minus a few 25s) crushed 2013. I honest-to-God do not know how it could’ve been better unless someone came out of the scenery and gave me like $100,000 or something.
Seriously. I am so freaking blessed.
And on the one hand where I am infinitely grateful to the things that God has moved in my life; I am also just so proud of myself. I know I couldn’t have done it without Him––but there was a part that required me to be brave. And there was a part that required me to have some insane trust and at the same time strength.
Moving to Boston was one of the most terrifying and gratifying things I have done. But I couldn’t see the gratifying part while I was laying in the floor of my Winston-Salem apartment crying my eyes out. Committing to a Boston apartment before I was sure that I wanted to leave? Committing to an apartment before I had let anyone know? That made it real. And that made it scary. But I took a deep breath and I went.
There have been equal forces at hand in each part of 2013.
The incredible joy of travel while facing an uncomfortable fear of flying.
The reward of returning to school with the painful goodbye and sadness of leaving an office made of my second family.
The excitement of new friends while missing the old.
The happiness of conquering change while feeling the holes of traditions and being with family.
The fresh victory of testing my body and seeing my running capabilities blossom with the regret of pushing too hard and finding its limits.
The amazing excitement of love and then also the fear of vulnerability.
My life is amazingly balanced. And if you know me, and how Libra I really am, you know that I couldn’t be happier. On a daily basis I am amazed at the fullness of my heart and the satisfaction I have.
For the first time in a long time I don’t feel like I am settling.
2014 you have one heck of a lot to match; but I feel confident. I feel excited. And I feel like I’m going into 2014 with the best momentum I could ever dream of.
You know when you were young and adults would tell you “Just wait, these aren’t the best years of your life.” I had the scary and happy and confused and curious thought recently that . . . I think 2013 was. I think it was one of the best. And I think 2014 will be the second. This roll that 2013 started doesn’t feel like it’s settling down. Instead, I really think God just got started. 2013 was a prologue and I damn can’t wait to see what’s going to happen in the next act.
So for my annual predictions.
Last year I called: Happy changes. Beautiful friendships (new and old). Fun celebrations. Promises followed through. Adventurous travels. Getting out of the comfort zone. Being invested. Healthy growing up. Lots of love.
And I want to keep all of that. But I’m going to add:
- A little growing up. 25 is young; but I can grow.
- A graduation.
- A stronger family.
- A running come-back story.
- A giving back to the city I’ve fallen in love with.
Decisiveness? You might say. Yes. I think 2014 is going to challenge my confidence in the big decisions. I’m going to need to jump fast and with my whole heart. I’m going to have to know what I want, how I want it, when and where. And I’m going to have to be 100 percent in those big choices.
I want to go with my whole heart.
And if 2013 is any indication, I know I can.