It started a few weeks ago.
I realized that I’ve been having a little too much fun on the weekends. Higher-than-should-be bar tabs. A lot of silliness. And a little bit excess. Nothing dangerous and nothing “bad.” But perhaps a little much, all the same?
Raised in a Methodist household, I’ve mostly been around Christians who don’t mind alcohol. Therefore, alcohol doesn’t really equate sin in my mind. Now, as soon as I’ve said that though, I will follow it by saying: I’ve seen alcohol cause a lot of other sins.
Ah geeze, and I know at times I’ve been guilty myself.
But, in moderation, I really don’t have a problem with drinking.
It’s just that lately I’ve noticed the amounts of:
I’ve spent on alochol. Not something I’m embarrassed about, but certainly not something I’m proud of. (And let’s face it, it’s really racking up my gym time.) Sure, maybe this is “typical young-20s behavior”–but I’m not a college student anymore. I know better ways to relieve my stress.
So this past week, as I was thinking about it. I’ve decided to really just take a break for a few weeks and see where it goes. Figure out better ways to spend that money, time, calories and energy.
I visited a new church this morning, Revo in Winston-Salem, that had an awesome underlying message saying:
Are you being a good steward of what God has given you?
If you looked at my debit account tracking for the last two months, I might get some judgement.
This piggy backs off of my recent post about picking back up good habits, it is not enough to focus on growing the good seeds: spending more time in my Bible, praying more deliberately, journaling and focusing on living the faith seven days a week.
I also need to prune back some of these other habits that while, aren’t obtusely negative, aren’t furthering me.
Am I saying that I’m never having a drink again? No. Let’s face it, this girl loves wine. And beer for that matter.
But going out with friends in that context has become too large of a part of my life. I want people to look at me and the activities I frequent, the ways I spend my money and know that I’m a Christian.
I don’t know if I will ever be a person who can comfortably, outwardly start recruiting new Christians based on talking points and debate. No, I’ve always been more comfortable just living the example and trying my best to show people what that love is like. That works. But you have to be consistent. And right now, I feel like I have a discrepancy going on. It’s just not the best investment of what God has blessed me with.
I am renewing me. And I am refocusing so much in my life. Just like Isaiah 43 says, I really feel like there are some new things God is really working on in me. There’s something still untapped here that I feel him nudging me on. This refocus calls for a self-inventory and some things just aren’t making the cut.
So, here goes. Keep me accountable, friends.