The start of October and Atlanta is refusing to let the leaves change color. Green treetops make it look the same as months past in Georgia; but it feels different. Change is coming. Humidity is gone.
This is certainly my favorite time of year. It seems that everything puts on its best color–a fanfare of what the past year has held.
But as I look at this picture; “things will change.” I’m left thinking less about peak weekends and more about my everyday week.
Never in my life have I felt adulthood so freely and so heavily at the same time. While moving to Atlanta was one of the less-stressful gigantic life changes I’ve made; in the past six months I’ve found myself kind of avoiding embracing the change — and embracing new life — and instead living in constant memories and pinings of New England.
Kind of crazy. But, when you have an adventure that vivid and colorful — not even your childhood dream job can necessarily distract you from missing parts of that risk-taking lifestyle.
That time was magical and I am having a terribly hard time letting it go. Constant prattling about Massachusetts with new Atlanta acquaintances. The ever-frequent #latergram of past wandering Boston Saturdays.
I know, it’s annoying.
My fixation on Boston has been avoiding the reality that:
Things have changed.
Since my move back to the South I’ve been brushed with some unsettling differences. The fact that, old friends are seemingly much harder to stay connected with — and new friends are hard to make when you work odd hours.
Living in a memory is sometimes easier than jumping into the new.
Steve Jobs (yeah, I’m going to go there — it’s a good thought he had) once talked about how it’s impossible to connect the dots moving forward. You only can backward. That’s the only way to make sense of change, how you end up where, what opportunities present themselves — and for what reason. You can only do that in retrospect.
When you think of the future — and even the now — you have to trust the dots moving forward. You have to just go. Follow your heart and your passion. But you’re not always going to know exactly what comes next or when.
I think that’s part of why it’s easier for us to live in that last ride, sometimes. You know it was a good one. And the current path you’re on is still undeveloped. It’s in the process.
You focus on what you know was good.
This is the first time in my life that I’ve really forged a new chapter 100 percent alone.
And some days that is lonely.
While I spend moments and days, fantasizing about weekends and explorations gone by up North — what I miss is the feeling of risk taking and adventure.
I have neglected to realize that my current situation requires just as much bravery.
This is ever-so-much another challenge–it’s just different. Where Boston had history to see; Atlanta has culture. Where Boston had me quitting a job; Atlanta has me embarking on a whole new career. Where Boston thrust me into new lifelong friendships; Atlanta is encouraging a patience to grow something similar.
Things have changed.
And things will continue to change.
The way to gathering the full happiness from it though is not to shirk in the shadows — but to embrace it fully and even mess it up a little.
Just because I’m in Atlanta doesn’t mean that Boston has to go away.
I just need to find that girl that moved into Kent Street and have her take charge here in Brookhaven.
Life is beautiful to the core right now.
And I can’t miss it because I’m still thinking about the leaves from last fall.